The Column Below by HOPE
Ministry, NYC, is a
Description of their Ex-Gay
Group that Steve and Jose
Attended which was
conducted at and by Calvary
Baptist Church.  The Column
is taken from the HOPE

                An Ex-"Ex-Gay " Love Story
                                                          by Stephen Parelli

           February 1997.  Calvary Baptist Church, 57th Street, Manhattan,
    New York.  A Tuesday evening "ex-gay" support group called HOPE led by an
    "ex-gay" deacon of Calvary Baptist Church.  That's where Steve and Jose

           Steve had arrived early that evening.  Perhaps as much as forty-five
    minutes early.  He had come in from New Jersey, about an hour and half travel
    time away.  Though this was his first time to this "ex-gay" meeting, it was by no
    means his first attempt at "ex-gay" help.  Steve was currently in weekly
    counseling sessions by telephone with Joe Nicolosi in California, one of the
    founders of reparative therapy and NARTH (National Association for
    Research and Therapy of Homosexuality). Steve had been recommended
    to NARTH for counseling by the leader of the "ex-gay" support group he
    initially attended in northern NJ, which was hosted by a semi-mega charismatic
    church.  In addition, at the recommendation of Nicolosi, Steve was involving
    himself in weekly New Warrior meetings, also held in Manhattan.  New
    Warriors is a straight men's group that works on how men should connect as
    men but often, instead, fail to connect because of individual and differing
    emotional and mental blocks buried deep in his inner child.

           Steve stood alone in the shadows of the unlit classroom on the second
    floor that over looks New York's 57th Street, not knowing that within ten months
    Brooklyn would become his new home and Manhattan the place where he'd
    find a new job working as a cold caller for a financial institution.

           Steve was 44 years old.  An MDiv graduate of Grand Rapids
    Theological Seminary.  Married with four children.  And pastoring a Baptist
    church in Sussex county of northwestern New Jersey.  His marriage was in
    disrepair; his children had become detached; his minister-father when directly
    asked was unable to say to his son "I love you;" and Steve was floundering.  
    Since age thirteen, Steve knew he was gay:  and all the spiritual "stops" he
    had applied to his homosexual orientation were falling apart.  His desire for
    homosexual relationship was crowding him, pushing in upon him.

           Steve stood and spoke intently with the first person who entered the room
    there on 57th Street, Manhattan.  Then a second person entered and a third.  
    The two of them stood close by and engaged in conversation with each other.  
    Out of the corner of his eye, Steve noticed the third man, a handsome dark-
    skinned man of moderate height with Caucasian features, a Spanish-African
    New Yorker of Puerto-Rican decent.  His name was Jose.

           Jose was 30 years old.  A public school guidance counselor whose
    undergraduate degree was in Bible (Columbia International University) and
    whose graduate degree was in applied psychology (New York University).  
    Jose had set his heart on foreign missions, but after working in urban missions
    in Cleveland, Ohio, and finding his homosexual orientation pulling him in
    directions he did not want to go, he left the Cleveland ministry, returned to New
    York City, got to work on his graduate studies and involved himself in evening
    after evening of various sex-related support groups hoping to bring his
    homosexual feelings in line with what he believed was Biblically correct.  
    Calvary Baptist Church's "ex-gay" group was one of the many support groups
    he regularly attended.

           The common interests Steve and Jose shared in areas of language,
    ministry, theology and counseling became evident to them as they talked at
    length again and again, alone or in small social groups, following the weekly
    Tuesday evening Calvary Baptist Church "ex-gay" support meetings.

           Prior to their meeting, Steve had prayed every morning for three years,
    "Lord, I need male arms now to hold me.  I can no longer wait 'til that day when
    Christ will welcome me with his open arms.  Can you send me male arms to
    hold me now?"

           Now Steve was telling his counselor, Joe Nicolosi, "I need to be held . . .
    and I've found the person who I think can do it.  His name is Jose."  "You can
    be held," said the NARTH counselor.  "But I need to be held all night and all
    day," Steve explained.  "Jose can hold you all night, all the next day . . . all
    weekend, right into Monday if you need."

           With mutual respect and with appropriate boundaries, Jose held Steve on
    a regular all night-Friday-into-most-of-the-day-Saturday basis for nine months
    while Steve wept and wept and spoke away every broken part of his soul.

           That was eight years ago.  Steve and Jose have since evaluated both the
    "ex-gay" counseling they have received and the anti-gay theological
    rhetoric they were taught.  On both counts, after much academic and
    theological investigation and personal soul searching,  they have
    renounced what they have been counseled and taught.

           The holding still continues . . . and the boundaries? . . . well, their
    boundaries now take in the fact that they are a live-in couple in the Bronx with
    NYC domestic certification, committed to the well being of the other . . . lovers,
    as ex-"ex-gays."

                                       Date Written:  September 7, 2005
With reference to the
above quotes in bold
" . . . we have
seen many  of those
miracles of change
among us"
note the

Steve and Jose, while at
HOPE, were
introduced to an  
example of an individual
who had overcome
, including
the leader himself who
never shared his
testimony.  Furthermore
no one ever sited an
example of an
overcomer from HOPE's
more than three years
of history prior to our
.  We
cannot testify to having
met a single overcomer
at HOPE or having been
told of one by name or
This column was created
May 2006
Visit www.othersheep.org, the
official web site of Other Sheep
Go to the Home Page of
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Visits at this web page
Note:  See Tom Hanks' dynamic
exegetical study on Paul's Romans
chapter one "against nature" in
context of the whole sixteen
chapters of the Apostle's epistle.
Go to Tom Hanks' scholarly study
homosexuality and the book
of Romans

From the following web site

Hope Ministry, NYC is a
ministry to Christian men
and women overcoming
homosexuality. Our ministry
also supports parents and
spouses of homosexual
persons. It is a referral
service of Exodus
International. HOPE began
Calvary Baptist Church
in New York City under the
direction of Pastor Ken Geis
May, 1993. At that time,
Dr. Geis contacted Exodus
Dr. Bill Consiglio who
guided us along in
establishing HOPE Ministry,
NYC. We have had the
blessing of having Dr. Bill
Consiglio among us on a
frequent basis. Dr. Consiglio
is an ordained minister,
author of
"Homosexual No
More", and certified
Christian counselor with
over twenty years
experience working with
Christians overcoming
Over the
years, we have seen
many lives turned around
and have been greatly
encouraged by so many
individuals who have
won the victory and
gained a new freedom.

We do believe that Jesus
Christ is the healer and
worker of miracles and
have seen many of those
miracles of change
among us.
We praise and
thank God for the hope he
has given us in him and in
HOPE Ministry. "For I know
the plans that I have for you,
declares the Lord, plans for
welfare and not for calamity,
to give you a future and a
hope". -Jeremiah 29:11  
as of October,
Other Sheep Site-Links
for "Ex-gay" Exposed
  • Ex-gay Paper - "Is There
    Really Such a Thing as Ex-
    gay?" used as part of a
    course curriculum
This is an
Other Sheep