Ex-Gay Ministries In
Their Own Words
___________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Ex-Gay Ministries In
Their Own Words
__________________________________________________________________________________________
 
__________________________________________________________________________________________
On The Cover:
"Pursuing Sexual Wholeness:  How Jesus Heals The
Homosexual
"  by Dr. Andrew Comiskey
copyright 1989

But On The Inside:

page 85 and 87:
" . . . a fundamental realignment of
the will.  ...   Whom will one serve,  Jesus or
the powerful lure of homosexual desire?"  ...  . . . strugglers are called to make
firm their
ultimate allegiance to Him.  . . .  Jesus wills that we will undivided
loyalty to Him
.  That commitment is central to pressing into a deeper level of
healing."

page 97:
" . . . homosexual strugglers
must contend . . .  ...  If strugglers want to be truely
free . . .   ...   . . .
battle plans must be made and effectively exercised."

page 104:
" . . . by
pledging our allegiance to the rule of Christ Jesus, we are delivered.  By
deliverance I don't mean being rid altogether of homosexual feelings.  ...  God
frees the struggler to rise up and
take hold of Jesus in the face of temptation
instead of slouchiing toward sin."

page 104-105:
"Terry, my good friend and conselee, once received a powerful deliverance.  A few
years ago, some church members . . .
cast out several spirits that had
empowered homosexual lust . . . For the first time, he began to say no to
homosexual behavior.  
One month later, however, Terry met a Christian man who
became his lover."

page 89 and 88:
"At the outset of
Desert Stream, I spent a day with a very nice-looking guy who,
in the course of our time together,
acted seductively toward me.  I loved it.  . . .
a part of me
would have thoroughly enjoyed having sex with him.  All I could
do . . .
in light of Annette, was to remove myself forcibly and awkwardly  . . .  But
that night I wrestled with lust and the temptation to call him . . .  From that
day forward I held
no illusion about my absolute safety from seducing or
being seduced
.  Satan, the enemy, knew my vulnerability and was waging a war
against me."

page 149
"I was a pastor, a director of a healing ministry for homosexual strugglers, a
husband and a father when I came to grips with
my pornography addiction (see
chapter 5)."

    page 175
    "After I was married and became steeped in domestic, ministry and seminary
    demands, I no longer had much time for same-sex friendships.  So the
    need surfaced illigitimately in an addiction to pornography.

    page 71 and 72
    " . . . Fuller Theological Seminary; and Desert Stream flouished.  Yet in the
    midst of it all, I became addicted to pornography.  I felt cmpelled almost
    weekly to seek sidelong glimpses of softcore portn . . . About seven years
    had passed since any habitual use of the slime.  I was as suprised as
    Annette when I discovered my impotence to resist it once more.   . . . This
    condition continued erratically for about two years.   ...  . . . I overcame the
    compulsion.  God called me to a higher allegiance . . . The Lord showed me
    that I still wasn't exempt from bondage . . . "

    page 83 and 84
    "For . . . approximately two years, I found myself caught up in  . . . mild
    pornographic material . . . Through . . . support . . . the cycle was
    broken.  I failed at times."

page 188
"We cannot expect to experience a complete absence of sexual struggles in
this lifetime.  ...  That means the homosexual struggler may
still experience
homosexual temptations
.  ...  None of that minimizes God's healing power.  It
simply places that
healing . . . in a process that will never end . . . "   

pages 188-189
"Flurries of homosexual feeling cannot shake the rock on which I stand - Christ
Jesus."

page 190
"While giving a series of lectures on sexual redemption one time, I felt
consumed
with a longing for distinctly masculine love and affirmation.  I ached for
it
.  I felt frustrated that my male friendships could not wholly meet that need . . .  I
felt
tempted to entertain lustful masculine images.  And I resented God for all of it
- . . . the temptations.  Most of all,
I resented His intangibility in the midst of my
struggle.

"While walking to
my lecture on "healing" (laugh track, please), I finally broke.  I
cried out to the Lord . . .  
I wept even more as I considered those attending
the lecture I was about to teach
and how their hearts needed that same mercy
and grace."
__________________________________________________________________________________________
On The Cover:
"More Than Words:  a 1-Day Conference by Tim Wilkins:  
Walking People Out of Homosexuality."
To see the cover click here or see illustration at left

But On The Inside:

"Why I Won't See Brokeback Mountain"  by Tim Wilkins

"Brokeback Mountain continues to gain momentum.  ...   I will avoid the movie . . .
and . . . cannot understand why any evangelical would see it . . .     . . . my going to
see Brokeback Mountain would be similar to asking a former alcoholic to go to a
liquor store . . .      Opponents of ex-gay ministries will immediately shout "Aha-so you
are
still tempted with same-sex attractions!" I do not deny it!  ...  These
opponents will also argue that ex-gay ministries "only teach
avoidance
techniques."  Indeed
, avoiding anything which may cause temptation is
appropriate . . .

"I will not see the two hour and fourteen minute movie; rather,
I will devote an
additional two hours and fourteen minutes to my time with God
who, when I
am tempted, will also provide a way out so that I can stand up under it."


"How To Love Homosexuals" by Tim Wilkins

[
From his 5th Point:]
"
Loving Homosexuals Requires Believing in Freedom from Homosexuality
A ‘love’ that rejects the reality of freedom should be considered “cruel and
unusual punishment.” A grace that forgives us of sin, but does not free us
from sin is a grace not worth having. ... "

Tim Wilkins is the Executive Director of Cross Ministry of Wake Forest, NC.  Cross
Ministry is an Exodus Member Ministry.  
On The Cover:
"Coming Out Of Homosexuality:  New Freedom for Men &
Women"  
by Bob Davies & Lori Rentzel, copyright 1993
James Dobson of 'Focus on the Family' and of 'Love Won Out' advertises this
book for sale to his radio listeners.
 Click here.

But On The Inside:

page 27:
"The goal of the ex-gay or former lesbian is wholeness in all areas of life . . .    
Many former homosexuals eventually go on to experience marriage . . .   Of course,
being married does not prove that a
former homosexual is "healed."  We have
talked to many people who are married and still struggling with homosexual feelings
and behavior.  They live . . .
feeling trapped in a heterosexual facade while
secretly longing for same-gender sexual intimacy
.  ...

"But back to the question.  ...  
What do we mean by the word heterosexual? . . .  
. . . you may wonder if you will ever experience
a strong, even passionate, lust
when looking at an attractive member of the opposite sex on the beach. ...  
this certainly is not our goal
in being healed.  ...   . . . healing means
experiencing sexual interest in the opposite sex, as well as having
healthy
friendships . . .   this constitutes true, godly heterosexuality."

page 95-96
"You are heterosexual in Christ," the speaker said and I (Bob) shifted
uncomfortably in my seat.  "No matter how deep your homosexual feelings are,
deeper still lies your heterosexuality, buried under a thousand fears."

"I will never forget that lecture by
Colin Cook at the 1982 Exodus International
conference in Denver . . .   By this time I had been part of a ministry to homosexuals
. . . for over three years.  
Am I really heterosexual?  I wondered . . . How could I
honestly claim to have a heterosexual identity?  
I did not feel heterosexual.  I
was not sexually attracted to women.  I still had homosexual feelings for
other men.

". . . I felt trapped . . . feeling foreign to the idea of a heterosexual identity.  
Did God expect me to "fake it" in terms of my feelings?  Should I somehow "step out
in faith" and believe I was heterosexual . . .  ...  
Over the years I have moved into
a new perspective on this question
.  ...  Being created in the image of God is
something to ponder.   ...  On a bad day I see Bob Davies as frustrated, struggling . .
. worthless creatures, powerless to change . . .  but . . . we are made in his image . .
.  ...  
Notice that there are only two categories . . . man . . . or a woman . . .  
No third option.  ... Each of us . . . male or female
. . ."

page 158
"A[n ex-gay] husband can just as easily experience a same-sex temptation
one hour after making love to his wife
as he can five days later.

"In [ex-gay married] men, homosexual temptations can be prompted by such
emotions as anger, loneliness, frustration and boredom. ... If pressures of being a
spouse or parent push these emotional "buttons,"
homosexual temptations may
actually increase in the married ex-gay
. . . "

page 162
"Ex-gay men may not feel an overwhelming physical attraction to their future
spouse . . .

"
Ex-gay [married] men . . ., the majority do not experience sexual arousal
solely
by looking at their wife's body.  [Instead] . . . sexual arousal [must come
by] touch and emotional feelings.

"Most ex-gay men do not struggle with sexual temptation for women . . . not
the strong visual attraction experienced by most straight men.  ...  So a lack of sole
dependence on visual stimulation can actually be a blessing."
Ex-Gay
Ministries In
Their
Very
Own
(Sorry)
Words

On
The
Cover
:


What
Wonder-
ful
Claims
They
Make

But
on the
Inside
:


Just The
Opposite Is
Stated
(And In Their
Very Own
Words)
Tim Wilkins
Bob Davies
Bob Davies on
Sodom and
Gomorrah,
Genesis 16:4-5

"However, pro-gay
theologians are
correct in saying that
this passage does not
provide a strong
argument against
prohibiting all
homosexual acts."

Appendix A
page184
Coming Out of
Homosexuality
On The Cover:
"Homosexual No More:  Practical Strategies for Christians
Overcoming Homosexuality
"  by Dr. William Consiglio
copyright 1991

But On The Inside:

page 13:
" . . . let me ask the question that may be on your mind.  Does that mean that
everyone should expect a
complete heterosexual recovery?  No!   . . . many can
make substantial heterosexual recovery . . .    ...   . . .
freed of the homosexual
obsession and preoccupation.

page 13:
"That was ten years ago.  Almost
100 clients later I have seen the Lord continue to
perform the miracle of transformed lives.  That's what this book is all about."

    page 33 and 34 and 35:

    "The person you are counseling can overcome homosexuality and can
    recover his or her heterosexuality.  Literally thousands have done this and
    are doing this.  ...  . . . they have recovered heterosexual desires.  ...  
    Homosexual attractions do decline and diminish.  The big "H" of homosexuality
    becomes a small "h." ... What do I mean by recovery?  What is realistic
    expectations? ...  Recovery is able to go on . . . with minimally bothersome
    homosexual feelings, thoughts, desires, and attractions (temptations), and
    avoiding all homosexual behavior. ...  You see, recovery doesn't mean
    your overcomer will never notice an attractive same-sex person again or that
    he will never be tempted again.  It does mean that he will be in control and
    that homosexuality will not control his life.  ...  . . . recovery means the
    ability to manage such tempatations . . . "  

    page 37:
    "I have seen many people change this disorientation . . . "

page 50:
"He will have many a day when he will wonder
whether anything is changing at
all
."

page 51:
"This is one of the aspects of the
healing of homosexuality.  The more one
persevers in suffering and temptation, the more he develops strength of
character.  This . . . produces more and more hope.  In turn, this allows him to
persevere in suffering . . .  It is just this kind of inner strength that heals . . .  "

page 52 - 54:
"He must get serious about prayer . . . he must bring
everything to God in prayer
...    . . .  meditating on the Lord
freqently and regularly during the day. ...  . . .
make these daily conversations a regular practice . . .  ...  The overcomer must
make
continuous contact with . . .His Word,  the Bible.  . . . full participation and
responsibility in his church.  . . .  [find] a trustworthy person . . . with whom the
overcomer can
be accountable and share his struggles regularly."

page 59:
"Effective and genuine
healing does not take place unless the overcomer
gradually moves through several stages of integration."

page 85:
"
God is certainly able to eliminate every trace of homosexual interest and desire
in a person. ...  
[But] My experience as a Christian therapist . . . is that . . .
overcomers experience . . . ... . . . a very small "h" remainging.  This means that
they may
still experience some homosexual feelings or interests from time to
time; some
tempatations, but with a  minimum of tension, conflict, or difficulty

pages 179-194:  
"Chapter Eleven -
Homosexual No More:  David's Testimony"

    page 179
    "David's testimony deserves to be heard, not because his is the most
    healed or the most successful overcomer . . . but because he is one of the
    most committed and persevering persons I know."

    page 191
    "Homosexual feelings are little more than a nuisance to me [David] most of the
    time now.  I have slips and backslidings and I cave in to my stress-relief
    cycle periodically.  Sure, occasionally I see a man who turns my head.  The
    yearning, lustful desire rises up occasionally.  ...  I have passed the
    ultimate test of recovery - engaging in casual conversation in a locker
    room with a naked man whilie maintaining eye contact."
________________________________________________________________________________________
Home Page of this site:
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A Paper:  An Evaluation of
the Ex-Gay Movement --
Eight Observations, by
Steve Parelli



Links about or signi-
ficant  to
Steve and Jose's  
ex-gay story






Resources for
Addressing the Ex-Gay
Movement:








The Ex-Gay Movement In
Their Own (Sorry) Words
    (The services on the
    following links are NOT
    RECOMMENDED.  They
    are given for the purpose
    of knowing about and
    finding ex-gay
    organizations for resource
    purposes.)






Steve and Jose
For the ex-gay movement, "change," "healing," "coming out of homosexuality," and being "ex-gay"  
is about  behavior modification.  There is no change in sexual orientation, only lifestyle.
On The Cover:
"Desires in Conflict:  Answering the Struggle for Sexual Identity"  
by Joe Dallas, copyright 1991

But On The Inside:

page 115:
The idea that
homosexuality can be changed is nothing new.  The apostle Paul
referred to homosexuals when writing to the Corinthian church, then said, 'And such
were some of you.'  We cannot believe the Bible without also believing that God
redeems His people . . .
freeing them . . . "


page 125:
"Everything is in a constant state of decay.  
Without maintenance, things
deteriorate.  So do people.  So will you [the ex-gay].  If you can accept that fact,
you'll avoid the apathy that keeps some Fighters from
maintaining their sexual
integrity
."

page 126 and 127:
"Every new level of maturity you achieve will be challenged. ...  . . .
sexual
temptations linger
. . .  I'm only warning you to guard your integrity . . .  You are
still responsible to
keep it under control . . .  After repentance . . . a sense of
freedom, a newfound optimism . . .  Many people mistake it for complete deliverance
from sexual temptations . . .  Sooner or later temptations will come, and
the rather
mundane task of day-to-day maintenance
replaces the understandable but
unrealistic exhilaration.  ...  So the best defense against falling away is
maintenance.  ...  Whether you succeed or fail in this area will be determined by
your willingness to
make, and stick to, daily decisions to keep your sex life
consistent with your standards.  ...  Have a predetermined plan for dealing with the
sexual temptations.

page 131:
"Strugglers get so focused on being
"cured" of homosexuality that they judge
their entire well-being by the frequency and intensity of
their same-sex
attractions
.  'Not again!' they scream.  'I can't believe that person turned me
on.  I'm so sick of this, how could those feelings still be there
?  I'm such a
failure.'

"The truth is,you're only a failure if you haven't done what you were able to do.  
Yours is not the responsibility of changing your feelings.  You can't anyway.
...
Instead, you got to concentrate on taking steps that will promote growth . . .

page 143:
"Integrity - the decision to remain consistent with your standards (and God's) - is
made up of hundreds of small, moment-to-moment decisions.  ...  You're trying, and
learning,
to be governed by your convictions instead of your feelings.  That
is the ultimate goal
of maintaining sexual integrity."
For the ex-gay movement, "change," "healing," "coming out of
homosexuality," and being "ex-gay"  is about  behavior modification.  
There is no change in sexual orientation, only lifestyle.
Ex-Gay Ministries In
Their Own Words
Ex-Gay Ministries In
Their Own Words

The author of
Homosexual No
More
helped
start the ex-gay
group that
Steve
and Jose attended


"HOPE began at
Calvary Baptist
Church in New
York City under the
direction of Pastor
Ken Geis in
May,
1993.
At that time,
Dr. Geis contacted
Exodus and
Dr.
Bill Consiglio
who
guided us along in
establishing HOPE
Ministry, NYC."
________________

Read Steve and
Jose's response to
HOPE's following
statement:

"
Over the years, we
have seen many lives
turned around and
have been greatly
encouraged by so
many individuals who
have won the victory
and gained a new
freedom."

Click here and
then scroll to the
far right column to
read Steve and
Jose's response.
________________
Andrew
Comiskey's book
"
Pursuing Sexual
Wholeness:  How
Jesus Heals The
Homosexual
" was
published in
1989.  Below is a
more recent
writing (2004)

taken from CBN's
"Guest Bio"

GUEST BIO Ex-Gay
Encourages the Church to
Welcome the Sexually
Broken August 25, 2004  


"Still in Process

Andrew [Comiskey] says
that
he still struggles
with past desires.
Recently, Andrew and
his wife, Annette,
celebrated their
20th
wedding anniversary

by going to
New York
City. While they were
there
, they had time to
reflect on how God
healed each of them

of personal brokenness
--
Andrew of
homosexuality
, and
Annette of childhood
sexual abuse -- and how
God has blessed their
lives.
However,
Andrew found himself
being seduced by
homosexuality
in the
New York City culture.

Andrew "came to his
senses," and he and
Annette asserted their
identities
in Jesus
Christ and prayed for the
people in that area of
New York to turn their
lives over to Jesus.

Andrew says of this
incident and
the
ongoing process

that the
healing
comes from firmly
making choices
in
God. It's not about
accommodating sin;
it's about having to
rely on God. He also
says
it is not
something to
achieve
. It is
important to lay a
good foundation,
God's foundation.
God has a high call
on humanity, and
however feeble we
are, God is our hope
and our boast."
Pictured Above
Author Joe Dallas

For a brief bio on
Joe Dallas
click
here.
________________
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